Stepping onto the deck of the OUTbound Cruise ship for the first time, I saw the sun setting, casting a golden glow over a sea of rainbow flags fluttering in the breeze. I was about to board for our cruise around the Seine in France.
This is the first time that I’ve explored France with my best friend Josh, who happens to be a gay travel writer. Why, you ask, is a straight girl jumping on board with a bunch of queer folks?
I can say that I take my role as Josh’s ally very seriously and I want to support the community. But my reason is much simpler: On this cruise, we are all people who believe everyone has the right to love who they love and be their authentic selves. I couldn’t imagine my sassy, boy-crazy friend being any less than who he is, in France or anywhere else. Plus, the LGBTQ+ Community knows how to party. It’s a good time all around.
While some would wonder what the difference is between a “straight” cruise and a “gay” cruise, frankly, it’s simply acceptance. It wasn’t long ago that the LGBTQ+ community was very limited in how they could celebrate themselves. Most of the crowd on this cruise were people who lost friends and loved ones to the AIDS epidemic, and men who married and raised children while in the closet. Listening to their stories was a very humbling and eye-opening experience.
For these people, not just feeling safe and accepted, but also celebrated, is something they don’t take for granted. If you’re invited into these spaces as an ally, be sure to respect that.
It’s a Party
Remember how I said gays know how to party?
Right off the bat, the atmosphere in the boat was one of celebration. OUTbound carefully selects entertainment partners that align with their mantra of acceptance for all. That sentiment was obvious starting with a cocktail party where we met our amazing crew for the seven days we would be traveling together. Music and laughter filled the room as the crew joked with the passengers, making us all feel welcomed.
The itinerary would take us to five cities in France: Paris, Giverny, Honfleur, Normandy, and Roen, then back to Paris. During that time we will be doing excursions, eating and drinking together.
Will there be drag bingo? Oh, I hoped so.
Starting with the City of Lights, in Paris we were treated to a bus excursion around the most popular Paris landmarks. Eiffel Tower? Check. Arc de Triomphe? Check. I strolled around the Eiffel Tower with Josh, enjoying the sights and taking pictures.
Of course, these are fun things to do, especially if this is your first time in Paris. But once our tour was over, we were ready to explore on our own. We opted to just walk around Paris without an itinerary. I was ready to see Paris through my bestie’s eyes.
Gay Paris
One spot we visited was Le Marais — the gay neighborhood in Paris. Throughout history, the queer community has always faced persecution: In 1750, a couple was burned to death in front of the Hôtel de Ville for being gay. Today, a memorial stands at Rue Montorgueil, where the two were arrested.
Despite this dark past, France became the first Western nation to decriminalize homosexuality, during the revolution at the end of the 18th century. Yes, France has come very far in accepting the LGBTQ+ community and remains one of the world’s frontrunners in defending the community’s rights.
This neighborhood boasts a lively culinary scene and was the perfect place to take a breather during our sightseeing. We opted for a delicious café au lait at Café Voulez-Vous. With its colorful storefront and vibrant atmosphere, this was the perfect spot to watch Paris (and cute boys) go by.
Back to the Boat…
Once we got back to the boat, it was time for our first proper dinner in France. My goodness, I must’ve eaten my body weight in delicious cheeses. And there was wine, good wine: juicy reds and tart whites. Baguettes that made that wonderful crunch sound with every bite. Seriously, I’m gaining weight just remembering the delicious food on board.
This is where I met Chris and Jay, a couple from the U.S. with whom I immediately became attached. They’ve been married for a few years and were on vacation. They were funny and kind. I knew that we were going to become fast friends.
With my new and old friends, we moved on to the lounge for our nightly entertainment and first theme party. People brought their A-game. Garrett, traveling from Las Vegas, contributed the glamor by dressing up as a proper 17th-century French aristocrat – wigs, shoes, the whole shebang. And of course, there was dancing.
In Monet’s World
After a good night’s sleep, we sailed towards Giverny, the home of Claude Monet. Walking through Monet’s gardens felt like being immersed in a painting. It was no wonder that the master impressionist used this spot as his inspiration.
The gardens, filled with vibrant flowers and serene water lilies, created almost a surreal atmosphere. Were the colors as vibrant as I imagined them? Pictures simply didn’t do them justice.
Sitting by the lily pond, my senses overwhelmed with the smell of flowers, grass and water (yes, water has a smell), I asked myself how is this real life? How can one spot on Earth be so beautiful?
Close, but Not Too Close
It’s interesting to note that although my companions were enjoying themselves immensely and taking pictures, couples who were usually very affectionate on board the boat were still close but didn’t show it publicly. I don’t think it was intentional.
Being affectionate in public is one of the many things as a straight person, I take for granted. I can hold my partner’s hand pretty much anywhere in the world and not be condemned by anyone.
Imagine being beside the person you love and afraid of touching them in public. It’s the sad reality this community deals with daily.
On the Water
Honfleur was my favorite city on this trip. With its charming harbor and historic buildings, Honfleur is a peaceful port city, offering a slower pace that allows us to truly connect with nature. The photo opportunities are endless as you discover the port from various angles.
I bought a pain au chocolate and sat watching the reflections of the centuries-old buildings overlooking the harbor and the bobbing yachts. It’s easy to see why this port was frequently depicted by some of France’s most famous artists, including Claude Monet and his mentor Eugene Boudin.
Remember when I said I hoped for gay bingo? Back on the boat, my wishes were answered. We not only had gay bingo, but it was hosted by Page Turner – a drag queen from New York City who’s notorious for her quick tongue and comedic timing. Laughter filled the lounge as everyone relaxed and enjoyed her banter.
In Normandy, a Heavy Heart
The next day, we stopped in Normandy. Visiting the D-Day beaches was a poignant reminder of the sacrifices made during World War II. Standing on those shores, I felt a deep sense of gratitude and connection. Over 4,000 Allied servicemen lost their lives on D-Day. Each year, millions visit to witness where and how this historic conflict unfolded.
We explored museums, beaches, cemeteries, and memorials. It was a very somber excursion. Despite the threat of persecution, gay and lesbian service members thrived during World War II. Like many young straight soldiers who had never left home before, the war offered gay service members a chance to find community, camaraderie, and, in some cases, first loves.
There’s a film by Marvin Liebman called “Coming Out Under Fire” that recalls his and many queer people’s experiences during the war that I highly recommend on the matter.
It’s Time to Dance
We needed some lightness after such a heavy day, and we were treated to a wonderful meal, good wine, and another night of dancing – this time to 80’s hits. Being a good Gen-Xer, I knew all the songs, from Laura Branigan’s anthem “Gloria” to Wham’s “Wake Me Up.” The dance floor was filled with bodies moving to the music. That’s another good thing about LGBTQ+ cruising folks: The music is always on point.
Disney on the Harbor
The boat slowly made its way to Rouen, the capital of Normandy in northern France, also a port city on the River Seine. Walking through its cobblestone streets, it feels like stepping back in time, and you kind of are.
This is the place where Joan of Arc was famously tried for heresy and burned at the stake. This is where Richard the Lionheart is buried. Rouen is steeped in history from the Roman era and the Middle Ages and signs of its former occupants remain, from its Gothic churches like Saint-Maclou and Saint-Ouen to the cobblestone pedestrian center featuring medieval half-timbered houses. This town is something out of a Disney movie.
Gay Versailles
After Rouen, it was time to head back to Paris. We ended our trip with a final excursion for a guided tour of the Palais de Versailles. From Marie Antoinette’s lesbian affairs to the Sun King’s gay brother, Versailles was teeming with gay history, and its grounds were a hotbed of raunchy encounters. Homosexuality and lesbianism are woven into the history of the Palace of Versailles and the lives of its most famous residents. You won’t find these salacious stories in a guidebook, that’s for sure. Who knew?
Last Call
On the last night aboard, we were treated to a nighttime cruise to watch Paris’ landmarks light up. Drunk with the beauty of the night and some more of that good French wine, I sat with Garrett and took in the beautiful views as we chatted about relationships, work, dreams, and everything within. Conversation flew easy and there was a communal gasp from everyone when the Eiffel Tower lit up for the evening. What a way to end our cruise.
The next day, it was time for me to leave my new friends. With social handles and emails shared, we promised to stay in touch and send pictures. I said goodbye to France with not just a newfound appreciation for this country, but love for all of us as a community.
I’ve always felt that fear comes from the unknown. By being an ally and not just supporting the LGBTQ+ community but also learning their history, it’s impossible not to understand, respect, and love them. In the end, isn’t that what we all want?
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Mary blogs at: Mary in Van City
